Internal Sunset of the Restless Mind

5th December 2011

Post with 25 notes

MRT Tales

For almost two weeks now, I’ve been regularly using the MRT to go to work. While I know it’s not the most comfortable means of transportation especially during rush hours, I take it because it’s still faster. Queuing for tickets could take a little time, but that’s nothing compared to the hours spent in EDSA traffic. At any given day, I’d rather get to work on time than to sit inside an air-conditioned city bus for hours or spend 350 pesos on cab fare.

But please, don’t get me wrong. If I had all the money in the world, I’d buy my own car so I wouldn’t have to take public transport anymore. Public transportation is always such a pain in the ass. But sometimes, like in any other aspect of life, I just have to set a different outlook, and shut out all the negatives to see all the amusing, the funny, and the entertaining stuff in the MRT. Yes, the MRT could be entertaining.

Here’s five of the most memorable experiences I’ve had in the MRT.

1. That boner of a corporate dude pressed against my right hip.

Morning rush hours could mean a lot of inappropriate grinding, body slams, and man hugs. (You just have to choose the people you’d stand next to for you to enjoy it.) There’s this one time when I rode the MRT from Cubao, I got literally face to face with a corporate dude clad in long-sleeved polo and slacks. To lessen the awkwardness, I shifted a little to my left. His body was still pressed against mine but we were not chest to chest, and face to face anymore. However, that dude must’ve been really fertile that morning that shortly after the train left Cubao, his tool got hard, and it was not just hitting my right hip, it was pressed against me for quite some time. I tried changing my position to avoid his dick, (believe me, I really tried) but since the MRT was too crowded, it was impossible to move. We stayed in that position until several people went down at Shaw. (Dear Lord, please know that it wasn’t my fault that he got hard.)

2. Two guys flirting (and touching each other) in front of me. Well, not literally in front of me but I could see them. And hear them. They were just two total strangers who happened to be standing so close to each other, liked each other, and then discreetly touched each other down there. I heard one of them ask the other at one point, “Saan ka bababa? Dun na lang tayo sa Shaw. (Where are you getting off? Let’s go down in Shaw.)” So there, they got off together at the Shaw station, and I’m guessing they literally went down on each other.

3. That guy who lost a shoe. This one is really unfortunate, and a bit funny. A guy emerged from a bunch of people who were pushing each other, some to get in, others to get out of the train. He’s got a Vans slip-on (I remember) in one foot, and just a white sock in the other. He searched for the other shoe but it wasn’t there. This dude must have been influenced by Mentos and Jose Rizal so much that he decided to just also leave the other pair in the platform. And then, just like that, he shrugged the whole thing off and walked away… without shoes.

4. That girl who’s too sexy for MRT. That annoying piece of fuck. That girl was talking to her friends, and was constantly ranting about how she hates riding the MRT. At one point, she said in a fake American accent, “You know, I’m too sexy for this.” And I was like, “Girl, stop it. If you think you’re too sexy for this, then why are you here? And you’re not really sexy, by the way.” But she amused me. Hurray for self-confidence, yea?

5. That overly protective husband who went ballistic and blocked off everybody else to let her wife get on the train first. Talk about love, passion, and dedication at the wrong place and time. It was about 6:00 PM at the Magallanes station. That man got threatened seeing a lot of people going to ride the train. When the train came, he started elbowing other people and shouted, “Oh yung asawa ko muna, papasukin nyo asawa ko. Ano ba! Sabi nang papasukin nyo muna asawa ko! (Let my wife get on the train first!)” Terrified and shocked, fellow commuters did what exactly the husband said. They paved the way for the wife (who, by the way, was not beautiful and sexy in any way), but the offensive actions and language of the husband had the other commuters taunting him by saying “Akala mo sa’yo ‘tong MRT (You think you own the MRT!)” and “Bumili ka ng sasakyan mo, dun mo pasakayin ‘yang Misis mo! (Buy a car for your wife!) Whether or not it was because the wife was pregnant, no one would know. One thing I knew for sure is that the husband definitely needed an idiot’s guide to properly expressing your love to your partner.

Tagged: MRT Metro Manila pinoy true stories